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Big TLOP: Big Ghost Is Back With His Review Of Kanye West - The Life Of Pablo
Big TLOP: Big Ghost Is Back With His Review Of Kanye West - The Life Of Pablo

Big TLOP: Big Ghost Returns To Review Kanye West - The Life Of Pablo

Big Ghost Review of The Life of Pablo by Kanye WestBig Ghost Review Kanye West Life of Pablo

Ayo whattup... You now baskin in the luminescence of the grand imperial Big Ghost aka Cocaine Biceps aka the illustrious Thor Molecules aka the infamous Galaxy Knuckles aka Shampoo Bracelets the panty melter aka the mighty Hands of Zeus hisself in the flesh. Lotta yall been wonderin why the gawd aint been droppin those immaculate scrolls n ill paragraphs n whatever whatever...

1. The gawd stay gettin it poppin on the Instagrams n

2. The gawd felt as tho his words n the respect for his craft wasnt there like that namsayin. I needs that Bar Mitzvah paper b.


Lenny Kravitz, Grace Jones, Lauryn Hill, Lion Babe, Thundercat, SZA & More Rock The Afropunk Festival 2015 in Brooklyn, NY.Big Ghost Reviews The Life of Pablo

The big question on social media over the past few weeks has basically been whether this muthafucka Kanye actually losin his damn marbles forreal or if he jus happens to be puttin on a cute little act to get his name percolatin again. Not like he ever went anywhere...but when you represent not only the upperest echelon in hip hop but become the face of all boundary pushin music n its album time the little bimonthly sidebars in Rolling Stone n filler stories on TMZ n Perez Hilton aint gon cut it b. But I aint here to examine my dudes mental acuteness or give him a diagnosis like that yo. I aint Sigmund Freud or B.F. Skinner fam... I aint tryna pretend like I can dissect that man based off some ludicrous tweets n a mini Britney Spears meltdown backstage during his last SNL performance. Only synopsis I can make is "hmmm son is kinda a dickhead."

Lenny Kravitz, Grace Jones, Lauryn Hill, Lion Babe, Thundercat, SZA & More Rock The Afropunk Festival 2015 in Brooklyn, NY.Big Ghost Review Kanye West The Life of Pablo

Lenny Kravitz, Grace Jones, Lauryn Hill, Lion Babe, Thundercat, SZA & More Rock The Afropunk Festival 2015 in Brooklyn, NY.Big Ghost Review Kanye West The Life Of Pablo

Son callin Africa a "country" aint even the worst part of this little 2 week 345-part mental collapse on twitter... That mighta even been one of his better moments.

Lenny Kravitz, Grace Jones, Lauryn Hill, Lion Babe, Thundercat, SZA & More Rock The Afropunk Festival 2015 in Brooklyn, NY.Big Ghost Review Kanye West The Life Of Pablo

The rollout to this album put it in the most polite words possible... A muthafuckin catastrophic debacle of cataclysmic proportions b. If the rollout to My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy was the most perfect moment in his career...his Godfather II or his Raging Bull...then this was his Little Fockers. This was his direct-to-DVD Godfather IV: Vito Back. if that shit existed. Son was pose to drop this album on the 11th. He was gon premier the final product at his listening party/fashion show at the Garden in front of 20k people n stream it to the world on TIDAL n then it was pose to rain physical copies from the sky for everybody in attendance n shit was pose to be available online n whatever for everybody else. But if you had been paying attention to everything else that happened before that day (the multiple name changes ...the fuckshit that went down wit Wiz n Amber...n lets not forget the unveiling of the worst album artwork since the heyday of Pen & Pixel n No Limit/Ca$h Money Records -- minus anything even a little interesting or visually compelling namsayin) you already knew we was jus experiencing the calm before the clusterfuck.

Instead Kanye announced right after the show that he was gon add six more tracks n vowed to "never" release the shit in any other format or to have it available anywhere other than via stream on TIDAL. The end results? Over 500,000 illegal downloads n a big middle finger to TIDAL. But I dont wanna dwell on all that stupid feel free to cue up ya pirated copy of The Life Of Pablo (which accordin to Kanye refers to Pablo Picasso, Pablo Escobar, n Paul the Apostle...whose name is Pablo in Spanish... But never mentioned his own protégé Pablo McCartney who was once a member of a little band called The Beatles at one time.. but clearly has yet to reach a level of success that would give Kanye any reason to include him in his tribute to a true artistic genius, drug lord royalty, n the author of 14 of the books in the New Testament) n hit the play on that. Lets get into this shit...

1. "Ultralight Beam" f. Chance The Rapper, The-Dream, & Kelly Price

I hope the little girl from that video gettin her royalty checks for this shit, bruh. Kanye was obviously very moved by this n wanted to share it wit the world. But at the end of the day religion is a business.. n these Minion dolls n robotic pets aint cheap fam. First thing you gon notice is Kanye done put the Soul n Gospel back into his shit...after that last full album of transeurotronic afronazi art hop. Chance spit like it was the last verse he was gon ever spit in his life on this shit... Which to me is how every rapper should approach every single verse they rap. The-Dream hook on this shit was dope...n the gospel choir was a nice touch. But I would be lyin if I said this shit touched my soul like I wanted it to be touched b (pause). If you go into this shit aware that its pose to be like a cathartic or spiritual cleansing moment for you really gettin pulled in by the ultralight beams of Heaven that blinded Pablo the Apostle on his journey to Damascus to oppose Christianity (Saint Paul was a hater at the time) n allowed son to be reborn...n feel like this might be the soundtrack to that moment in your life... You might be disappointed. I was more spiritually uplifted by J. Ivy's 10 minute spoken word interlude n Hov's completely irrelevant 2 verse proclamation of his enduring eternal influence on the game on "Never Let Me Down" if we keepin it a red 100 emoji. This shit felt too self aware of what it was tryna accomplish n lets jus be honest...musically its boring as shit. Plus the shit got 9 producers n 13 writers credited... Like cmon b. But I dont hate it or nothin.

2. "Father Stretch My Hands, Pt. 1" f. Kid Cudi

When I started listenin to this I thought maybe it was gon expand on the theme of the first track over a slightly more interesting backdrop n maybe that spiritual cleansing really was bout to take place after all... Then this happened:

"Now if I fuck this model

..n she just bleached her asshole

And I get bleach on my T-shirt..

Ima feel like an asshole"

Yanno what... Fuck you Kanye. Thanks for this truly disgusting n moronic couplet you sick fuck. Why stop there fam? Jus go all out n say you was smokin Kim's used tampons when you wrote this n then brushed ya teeth wit ya own semen. Fuckouttahere b.

3. "Father Stretch My Hands, Pt. 2" f. Desiigner

So Kanye jus gon take a whole track by another cat n make it his own n put it on his album huh? Not only that.. He gon appropriate a song by a dude who appropriated his whole entire style from another cat n we all ok wit it? We gon sign son to GOOD Music too? Fam I cant decide if Desiigner is serious... But homie supposedly thinks him n Future is equals n son aint jus like a U.S. Polo Assn. version of Future or nothin. This a real actual ACTUAL quote by dude:

"Big ups to him, big ups to Future. I actually like Future’s music. I like his music, you feel me. I’m not a hater or a critic on him, you know, I do me."

Big Ghost Reviews The Life Of Pablo by Kanye WestBig Ghost Review Kanye West The Life Of Pablo

So he gon jus hit the man who fathered his entire style wit the I SEE YOU FAM...I AINT MAD...KEEP DOIN YOU big homie approval nod huh? Aight then...

Big Ghost Reviews The Life Of Pablo by Kanye WestBig Ghost Reviews Kanye West The Life Of Pablo

4. "Famous" f. Rihanna & Swizz Beatz

This is legit the first track on the album that had me like "Damn...". Yo not even Swizz Beatz adlibs could ruin this shit. Not even some lazy ass terrible lyrics could ruin this shit b. This joint is jus blue fire emojis from start to finish regardless of what Kanye n Swizzy do to it. AND THEN...jus when you think the shit cant get no more bonkers...the Sister Nancy "Bam Bam" shit comes in n takes the track to the whole next level. Far as the concept of the song I could give 1/8th of the worlds smallest shit...but I feel like Kanye is tryna selectively reject fame... Liiiiiike he wants to put the Taylor Swift incident behind publicly shittin on America's Sweetheart once again? By marrying into the Kardashian family? Im not sure what the plan was but it dont seem like he gave that shit too much thought yo. Regardless of whether Taylor really was or wasnt in on this shit before it dropped...that little line bout her seems like a blatant attempt to say some wild controversial shit n get his name ringin in them red states again. Either way the song bangs tho.

5. "Feedback"

Anybody who pays close enough attention to what I write already knows Im a fan of dope sequencing on albums... This shit right here is a perfect example of good sequencing. Shit makes sense conceptually n musically. Once again the only issue I got wit it might be the vocals. For some reason it sounds like Puffy wrote this shit. Which makes bout as much sense as sayin Drake musta drew up the plays for his team during the celebrity game last all star weekend. Oh wait...never mind I see CyHi The Prynce name in the credits. Shit makes sense now. Off top I aint a fan of the whole rhymin the entire bar wit the exact same bar again in the next line shit. Also I cant help but feel like son was sendin shots at bloggers wit this line:

"I know I know...I shouldnt even bother

Wit all these gossiping, no-pussy-gettin bloggers"

Like sumn tells me... Now I cant speak for all bloggers n writers or whatever...n I aint usually one to talk on it but I personally never struggled in this area b. Soooooo jokes on you Kanye.

Lenny Kravitz, Grace Jones, Lauryn Hill, Lion Babe, Thundercat, SZA & More Rock The Afropunk Festival 2015 in Brooklyn, NY.Big Ghost Reviews Kanye West The Life Of Pablo

6. "Lowlights"

Kanye shoulda left this shit off the album b. This shit sound like the motivational voice inside of Mary J. Blige head that talks her outta swallowing a bottle of pills when she snags her sweater.

7. "Highlights" f. Young Thug

This shit sound like it coulda been on Graduation. Musically shit could fit right in wit "I Wonder" n "Champion." You also feel like its mad chicks singin on this shit but then you realize its jus The-Dream n El Debarge singin on this shit. Im actually jus appreciative of the fact that Young Thug disappears from the track after the first minute or so. The thing that dont ever disappear is these asscheek lyrics...

"Sometimes Im wishin that my dick had GoPro

So I could play that shit back in slo-mo"

"I bet me and Ray J would be friends..

If we aint love the same bitch

Yea he mighta hit it first

Only problem is Im rich"

"She spent her whole check on some Christians

...n that girl aint even religious"

Oh I see what happened here now... CyHi wrote this shit too. Fam if CyHi can be a ghostwriter then damn near anybody readin this shit should think bout a new line of work. Yes YOU could be a ghostwriter for Kanye too b.

8. "Freestyle 4" f. Desiigner

The lyrics on this shit might be the actual lowest of the lyrical low points on this entire album b. Ima save yall the suspense n jus tell you... YES...CyHi got another writing credit on this shit. Fam I wish this song was a actual physical person so I could find it n punch it in the face wit the force of a hundred rhinos. The lyrics on this shit make me wanna stab people...n not in a positive way b. For example...

"What the fuck right now?

What the fuck right now?

What the.. what the fuck right now?

What if we fuck right now?

What if we fucked right in the middle of this muthafuckin dinner table?"

Dog... you made "Jesus Walks"... "All Falls Down"... "Diamonds From Sierra Leone"... You need ya old ghostwriters back fam. Bring Q-Tip cousin wit the white piano keys for teeth back...Accountability or whatever? Bring Rhymefest back b... Let Pusha T write you some shit. These aint even coherent thoughts you spittin out b... You actually makin Tyga sound like Maya Angelou wit shit like this. I dont care if this shit was conceptual or if this is like some type of performance art shit... Addin Great Value Future to the mix aint helpin none either namsayin...

Lenny Kravitz, Grace Jones, Lauryn Hill, Lion Babe, Thundercat, SZA & More Rock The Afropunk Festival 2015 in Brooklyn, NY.Big Ghost Reviews Kanye West The Life Of Pablo

9. "I Love Kanye"

Outta all the unnecessary additions Kanye made to the album after he premiered it this the first one so far Im glad he included. This shit is short n clever...n free of any CyHi corniness. Its also cool to see son poke fun at his own self n respond to critics at the same time. Quotin anything from it aint gon do the shit peep the little interlude ya damn self.

10. "Waves" f. Chris Brown

This the second joint Im glad Kanye added back to the mix. Apparently we got Chance to thank for that cuz according to Kanye it was Chance who pushed to get this on the album. Like most normal ass mature adults I aint really a fan of Chris Brown n his got damn antics... But I aint never downplay the fact that dancin ass muthafucka got talent ever. I aint gon lie neither cuz I secretly wanted son to lose his cool n catch a charge for stompin Aubrey out at one time n had hoped that that shit would kill two birds wit one stone. Like if Breezy had stabbed Drake back in like 2012 1. Rap might coulda went back to normal n 2. CB ass woulda got locked away for life...which at the time would not have bothered me none. But thats all in the past now n I dont wish that type of shit on nobody anyways...except maybe Tyga. I wish all types of harm on that muthafucka.

Lenny Kravitz, Grace Jones, Lauryn Hill, Lion Babe, Thundercat, SZA & More Rock The Afropunk Festival 2015 in Brooklyn, NY.Big Ghost Reviews Kanye West The Life Of Pablo

11. "FML" f. The Weeknd

Kanye + The Weeknd seems like a no brainer type of collab...especially the post MBDTF Kanye n the post "I dont really need to show my face all the damn time so heres some white women on the cover" Weeknd. They damn near the same creatures now fam... One jus sings better n the other got a less flamboyant hairstyle. This track is dope n all but what stops it from flourishing is these stupid ass lyrics once again. For example...

"But Ima have the last laugh in the end (In-di-an...GET IT?)

Cuz Im from a tribe called check a hoe"

Fam...anytime you hear Ye spit some wild corny forced double entendre play on words type shit like this you can almost guarantee CyHi waltzed into the studio wit his big ol garbage can of rhymes n contributed to that shit. Dont even gotta check the credits. Anyways...the switch up in the last minute make this track 10x better than the shit should really be.

12. "Real Friends" f. Ty Dolla $ign

Not gon lie...I had no intentions of ever likin this track. This jus stinks of some millennial shit... QUACK QUACK MAN THESE FRIENDS SUCK YO...I WISH IT WAS SUCH THING AS PEOPLE THAT WASNT MEAN N OUT TO USE ME QUACK QUACK QUACK... Im addin the duck sounds to emphasize that its some real Drakes out here (A male duck is a drake namsayin.. If I was as creative as CyHi I would drop a real cute little play on words to astound yall here). But this bitchmade shit grew on me a little. Kanye shows his vulnerability here n admits he paid a 250k ransom to his cousin to get his laptop that he had all his sex tapes on back. Man I would been like Mel Gibson in Ransom n went on TV wit the money laid out all in front of me n told dude AYO SO HERE ALL THE MONEY IS...BUT THIS AS CLOSE AS YOU EVER GON GET TO IT CUZ INSTEAD OF PAYIN YOU IMA GIVE THIS SHIT TO WHOEVER WANNA BRING ME YOUR HEAD ON A STICK YOU ROTTEN LOWLIFE MUTHAFUCKA... But yo that cat wit the terrible ass redundant name did his thing on the track too.

Big Ghost Reviews The Life Of Pablo by Kanye WestBig Ghost Reviews Kanye West The Life Of Pablo

13. "Wolves" f. Frank Ocean

Once again...dope sequencing is in effect. The transition from the end of "Real Friends" to the beginning of "Wolves" is impeccable b. I was one of the few people who actually preferred the album version of this joint over the original version that had Vic Mensa n Sia on it. I aint hatin on dude but I jus dont wanna hear that lost no identity havin ass on anything right now nahmean. Alas...Kanye promised he was gon "fix" Wolves a SECOND time...n he brought that fool back into the mix n now I gotta act like I never heard it again n jus flat out refuse to download the updated version of this track ever.

Lenny Kravitz, Grace Jones, Lauryn Hill, Lion Babe, Thundercat, SZA & More Rock The Afropunk Festival 2015 in Brooklyn, NY.Big Ghost Reviews Kanye West The Life Of Pablo

14. "Siiiiiiiiilver Surffffeeeeer Intermission"

This shit exists for the sole purpose of provin to Wiz Khalifa that he could get Max B blessing to call his album Waves...which is a completely irrelevant point since Kanye already changed the name of the album again.

15. "30 Hours" f. Andre 3000

Another joint that was jus part of Kanye attempt to bring back GOOD Fridays (along wit "Real Friends"; "No More Parties...", n "FACTS") that ended up on the album later. This shit sounds like it coulda been on Late Registration... As a long ass Drake interlude. I actually called this shit before Kanye even admitted that Drake had had a hand in penning this shit. Or...did the ghostwriter's ghostwriter pen this shit? We might not ever kno bruh... One thing I do kno is when you say "featuring Andre 3000" n all you got son doin is repeating two words for part of the song...thats some deceptive shit fam. This muthafucka Kanye answered a phone call in the middle of droppin ad libs on the outro too yo... The nerve of this man.

16. "No More Parties In L.A." f. Kendrick Lamar

So Madlib sent Kanye 5 beats during the makin of MBDTF...this was one em. Kanye also took this shit off the album at one point. Glad he brought it back cuz its lyrically the hardest shit on the album. Kendrick absolutely snaps on this shit. I think that actually influenced Kanye to step his whole shit up n not let CyHi write a verse for this track. Also I kno Ghostface gotta be gettin that bread but..wonder if Sir Ibu from Divine Force gets a check whenever Kanye samples the "Shake that body party that body" line from GFK on "Mighty Healthy."

17. "FACTS" (Charlie Heat Version)  

Not sure why Kanye decided he needed to add this shit to the album...but he did. Think the fuckin abysmal response to the original version made Kanye think the problem was the beat... I mean other than the fact it was the same beat as the one from "Jumpman" by Drake n Future...that shit really wasnt no type of issue b. The fuckin wack ass bars n corny concept mighta been the actual real problems here son. This shit shoulda stayed a loosie yo. Dissin Nike you might as well write a diss track bout the Sun n hope muthafuckas stop goin outdoors before nighttime. Cuz you gon get the exact same results tryna go head up against Phil Knight n em...

Big Ghost Reviews The Life Of Pablo by Kanye WestBig Ghost Reviews Kanye West The Life Of Pablo

18. "Fade" f. Ty Dolla $ign & Post Malone

Fam...its rappers I dont really care if I never hear anything by em ever again n then its some that I hope I never ever have to hear ever again. Post Malone falls somewhere in between the two. I dont hate dudes guts or nothin but at the same time get this bullshit outta here fam. Sometimes I wonder who's side Kanye really on yo... You dont got Hov or Pusha-T or Common or Mos Def on the album... I might even settle for a fuckin Big Sean feature...but you got time to put the "White Iverson" cat on? THAT guy? Fam I feel like suplexing you thru a piano when you do shit like this.

Anyways yo there you have it. When I first heard this album I was legit surprised it wasnt all the way trash... I was actually surprised at how many songs was kinda dope to be honest yo. My expectations had got so low that anything that wasnt full blown asscheeks would seem damn near like a masterpiece to me. So for the first week I thought Kanye had made somethin kinda special. Then I started really hearin the bars that dragged the album down...I pondered how many people it took to write n produce each track. I also examined the blatant wave riding n heavy borrowing from youth culture. Ayo fam let the kids make music for the kids. Your job aint to fit in wit em its to be the example for em. I mean yea its a very consistent album...consistently better than Yeezus...consistently not blowin my brain out the back of my skull too... But its also like Kanye wanted to give us a little of all the different Kanyes on this shit...which is cool. But whats missin is the truly big moments. The ANTHEMS... This the dude who gave us "Can't Tell Me Nothing" n "Flashing Lights" n "All Of The Lights" n "Touch The Sky" n "Otis"... This jus dont got a lot of those moments. TLOP been promoted to you as a God dream...but musically this is some very mortal shit...n quite possibly his most subtle/safest album ever. It got moments of greatness but those moments almost always pale in comparison to similar shit from his own discography. Addin the six tracks after the fact showed he was feelin wild unsure bout this shit too. Kanye always likes to remind his fans that he got vulnerabilities n insecurities...but what fans actually thought usually never really interfered wit his process so much. This the first time we really seen Kanye blatantly let his fans dictate his creative process in any obvious way namsayin.. We laughed at the Swish title n then he changed it... We acted underwhelmed by the 12 track version of the album he debuted n so he added 6 more tracks. We complained cuz son took "No More Parties in L.A." off the album n boom... Shit was back. But at the same time Kanye seems like he wanna try n regain some control over his shit... Hence the vow to never make this shit available in stores or on iTunes. These jus dont seem like well thought out ideas fam....but whatever floats ya damn boat Kanye. Anyways I aint doin handless cartwheels over it but for the fuckin DEBACLE it should be...the album turned out a lot better than what Kanye's fuckery leadin up to the release had indicated. GOOD Music president Pusha T said it was Kanye best n specifically BETTER than My Beautiful Dark Twisted which I respectfully gotta reply wit HELL. FUCKIN. NAH. But its better than Yeezus n Ima listen to it a lot more than I listen to 808s & Heartbreak.

I unbiasedly give this shit a light 4 Zeus Slaps outta 5.

Lenny Kravitz, Grace Jones, Lauryn Hill, Lion Babe, Thundercat, SZA & More Rock The Afropunk Festival 2015 in Brooklyn, NY.Big Ghost Reviews Kanye West The Life Of Pablo

Aight peace.