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8.66 Performers We'd Rather See at The Super Bowl LI Halftime Show
8.66 Performers We'd Rather See at The Super Bowl LI Halftime Show

8.66 Performers We'd Rather See at The Super Bowl LI Halftime Show

8.66 Performers We'd Rather See at The Super Bowl LI Halftime Show

This Sunday, all eyes will be glued to big and small screens as the New England Patriots and the Atlanta Falcons bring their best to Houston for Super Bowl LI (51.) It's the country's most lavish athletic (but mostly corporate) spectacle, and it manages to garner the attention of even the non-sports types with over-the-top ad spots and, of course, a halftime show that consistently leaves viewers conflicted, even when Beyonce steps in to save the day.

This year, Lady Gaga will be the belle of the halftime ball. And that's fine. She's proven to be a more than capable performer and her heart's certainly in the right place. But for an event of this magnitude to take place in a city as rich in musical history as Houston without recognizing it, or even saluting the longstanding cultural juggernaut that is the city of Atlanta (one of the participating teams) is not just an oversight or ratings grab. It's a got damn crime. One that will no doubt go unpunished, one we'll certainly be subject to no matter how blatant the misstep, both live and direct and via internet replay in subsequent days.

So as we brace ourselves for what will either be (at worst) another remarkably unremarkable halftime outing or (at best) a celebrated but ultimately forgotten Gaga performance, we can't help but wrack our brains for suitable alternates, hoping some way, somehow, the powers that be heed the call and pull out a beloved starter for a hometown hero. Here are 8.66 performers we'd rather see at Super Bowl LI this Sunday. No shade. Just facts. Oh, and let's hope Atlanta takes this thing home. 'Cause fuck The Patriots forever and always (ok, a little shade.)


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1. OutKast

The conversation should just end here, right?


8.66 Performers We'd Rather See at The Super Bowl LI Halftime Show

2. Migos

Rain Drop, drop top, Migos shoulda always had this slot.


8.66 Performers We'd Rather See at The Super Bowl LI Halftime Show

3. Pimp C Tribute feat. Bun B and DJ Screw

Long live the pimp.


8.66 Performers We'd Rather See at The Super Bowl LI Halftime Show

4. Goodie Mob 

The chances of a full-on Dungeon Family reunion are slim, but a performance from the ATLien four-piece alone would be nearly worth the price of admission.


8.66 Performers We'd Rather See at The Super Bowl LI Halftime Show

5. Future

Like plain cheesecake consumed in the wee hours of the morning, a set from Future would be nothing short of sensational.


8.66 Performers We'd Rather See at The Super Bowl LI Halftime Show

6. Gucci Mane

What better way to celebrate the triumphant return of the East Atlanta Santa?


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7. Usher & The Roots 

Because this deserves the world's biggest stage.


8.66 Performers We'd Rather See at The Super Bowl LI Halftime Show

8. So-So Def Reunion (Xscape, Da Brat, Ghost Town DJs, Kandi Burruss, Jagged Edge, Bow Wow?)

If we've learned anything from Ghost Town DJs' "My Boo" shooting back onto the charts after a best-case scenario viral bid, it's that the world is a better place with So So Def in it. And Super Bowl 51 is the perfect venue for the case to be made yet again.


8.66 Performers We'd Rather See at Super Bowl LI

8.66. Surviving TLC Members

This is when the decimal point in the title should become clear. Though they will forever be incomplete, even with just two surviving members, the group has enough hits to program the next decade of halftime shows. Throw in a more-than-deserving sub like, say, Kehlani, or Kelela or, hell, even this year's headliner, and you've got the makings for an electric (and sure enough seductive) spectacle at the 50-yard line.