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Big Ghost Review of The Life of Pablo by Kanye West

Ayo whattup… You now baskin in the luminescence of the grand imperial Big Ghost aka Cocaine Biceps aka the illustrious Thor Molecules aka the infamous Galaxy Knuckles aka Shampoo Bracelets the panty melter aka the mighty Hands of Zeus hisself in the flesh. Lotta yall been wonderin why the gawd aint been droppin those immaculate scrolls n ill paragraphs n whatever whatever…

1. The gawd stay gettin it poppin on the Instagrams n

2. The gawd felt as tho his words n the respect for his craft wasnt there like that namsayin. I needs that Bar Mitzvah paper b.

So when my guy Eddie Stats hollered n asked if I wanted to review this shit I told him how I felt straight up n down… AYO YOU MY MANS N ALL BUT I JUS DONT FEEL AS THO THE APPRECIATION FOR MY CRAFT IS THERE B… I AM TO MUSIC REVIEWS WHAT JIM HENSON IS TO PUPPETRY NAMSAYIN. I AM TO THIS SHIT WHAT HELMUT LANG IS TO FASHION. OKAYPLAYER IS MY KESTNERGESELLSCHAFT… N I NEED YOU TO BE MY NORDDEUTSCHE LANDESBANK GIROZENTRALE FAM… I NEED THESE DEUTSCHMARKS…THESE EUROS…THESE PESOS…THE BREAD…THE BAUERNBROT…IMA NEED 20 RACKS CUZ ANYTHING LESS WOULD BE CHARITY WORK ON MY PART NAHMEAN. NOW IS YOU GON ALLOW ME TO CREATE OR YOU JUS GON MARGINALIZE ME UNTIL IM OUTTA MY MOMENT? CUZ CANT NOBODY DO IT LIKE ME. AINT ENOUGH BEANS IN NOBODY MARACAS TO SALSA WIT THE GAWD… Long story short Eddie wasnt wit that shit n I aint get no additional monetary appreciation whatsoever. But its coo… Ima do this shit for the culture regardless yo.

Big Ghost Reviews The Life Of Pablo by Kanye West

The big question on social media over the past few weeks has basically been whether this muthafucka Kanye actually losin his damn marbles forreal or if he jus happens to be puttin on a cute little act to get his name percolatin again. Not like he ever went anywhere…but when you represent not only the upperest echelon in hip hop but become the face of all boundary pushin music n its album time the little bimonthly sidebars in Rolling Stone n filler stories on TMZ n Perez Hilton aint gon cut it b. But I aint here to examine my dudes mental acuteness or give him a diagnosis like that yo. I aint Sigmund Freud or B.F. Skinner fam… I aint tryna pretend like I can dissect that man based off some ludicrous tweets n a mini Britney Spears meltdown backstage during his last SNL performance. Only synopsis I can make is “hmmm son is kinda a dickhead.”

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Comments

  • Doug M

    Not better than YEEZUS. Not even close. The bars on Yeezus murder the weak ass bars on TLOP. This is Ye’s 2nd worst album, with 808’s being the most trash.

    • Jordan Schrock

      word cause bars like “I just talked to Jesus, he said whats up yeezus, shit im just chillin, countin up these millions” are so impeccable

    • Andrew Almond

      Anybody can pick out one example of weak bars and try to make something look like shit, but c’mon fam. Anyone who’s listened to TLOP a good bit knows lyrics were weak across the board.

    • DEXTER DAVIS

      I liked that line

  • nymless

    Realest shit I’ve ever read fam….too funny and too real

  • DeEzy J. BaCa

    Hilarious!!!! I fuck with the album, but this review had me in stitches. The CyHi bit was pretty good.

  • One

    Flawless review as always.

    I’d give it 3 slaps. Judging by the review that would have seemed reasonable for ghost too..

    Sidenote: Ghost gotta have some german in him. Waaaay too familiar with the language, lol.

  • laps

    You just can’t be honest when it comes to Kanye, can you? 4 slaps out of five for an album ghost-written by Cywhatever and featuring an astonishing A list of retarded rappers (obviously not including Kendrick and 3000). You just love him.

    • Riski (Paris)

      did you read the fuckin thing?

    • laps

      I did, bitch. That’s why I was even more surprised to see the 4 slaps. Thanks for your interaction tho, you can go back to snack on your dick flambè.

    • Andrew Almond

      If you read the damn review you’ll see that he doesn’t “just love him.” A review score doesn’t fully encompass a reviewer’s feelings.

  • Sylvester Uncas

    Wait…who the fuck is Desiigner? I been thinking that was Future on those tracks since I don’t have a detailed tracklist. This can’t be life.

  • Alex Joseph

    4/5 after you shit on the album? It’s like it blasphemous now to say Kanye made a mediocre album.

    • TheCarBro

      @disqus_oXNYkvXKJf:disqus THE ALBUM IS UNORGANIZED. Kanye had TLOP in 3 acts (Look @ the pics on twitter before the release) it had:
      ACT 1: Famous, Father Stretch my Hands 1&2, Waves, Highlights (-added track- Feedback)
      ACT 2: (-added track- Freestyle 4)30hrs, No More Parties in LA, Fade
      ACT 3: FML, Real Friends, Wolves, Ultralight Beams
      This way is beautiful just try it. The other way is scrambled and the album sounds closer to a mixtape

    • Andrew Almond

      In this order do you put Feedback at the end of act 1 like that? And Freestyle 4 at the start of act 2? Or are you saying that’s where he added them? I wanna give your way a shot because the jumbledness of the way he did it just doesn’t do it for me.

    • Shawn

      i know, he definitely loved the album but its his job to shit on albums. He’s truly a bitch

  • daman

    Okayplayer, the hands of Zeus Big Ghost seem to gave the impression. That Eddie whoever he is, wasn’t down to drop them bands. We gonna make it clear yo…. if ya’ll not gonna give Big Ghost em bands, we aint gone be rocking on your blog and driving traffic. Cut the cake and let Big Ghost have them bands, nahmean….

    • Eddie STATS

      cant speak for big ghost but I took that little intro as an allegory for the way kanye’s communicated his vision to the public, ie the kubrick comparisons the call for zuckerberg to drop some millions on him etc. for the record we’re an indie outlet w/ modest budgets but we do pay our writers + contributors. in other words, read it in the spirit of the whole piece.

    • Andrew Almond

      That’s Meta af. And in the same vein as usual Big Ghost nuanced brilliance. I hope that’s the case.

  • Andrew Almond

    4 outta 5 is too high fam. The album was inconsistent as hell and had some of Ye’s worst lyrics ever. Aside from a few great features (Chance, Kirk, Rihanna, Kendrick, Weeknd, Sia, Vic, and Frank [yeah I’m including Vic and Sia, I lump all takes of Wolves together]), some great production across the board, possibly Kanye’s best skit ever, and I guess a handful of good Kanye bars, it just left some things to be desired in the areas of cohesiveness and greatness. While Kanye at moments felt like he was getting back to some MBDTF, CD, or LR at moments, it was never a resounding “YAS!” Where were the great lyrical moments by Ye? Where were Ye’s best boys (Common, Pusha, Hov, Legend)? I can’t listen to it without going “wtf” like 7 times. Maybe Ye’s just finally losing it a bit. I appreciate the great moments of the album though. It gets 3 outta 5 from me just because I feel anything less would be too critical. Great review as always though, BG.

    • Doug M

      This right here is the best review of TLOP ^^^^

    • Andrew Almond

      Preciate it, man.

    • Godzilla Jr.

      2.5/5, really just mediocre in my opinion

    • Chidi Sam Nnamani

      You should start your blog reviewing stuff. Great analysis fam

    • Andrew Almond

      Thanks man. I’ve thought about it. I might once the busyness of school let’s up a little lol.

  • casualty

    4 slaps for the review.. not 5 because BGhost went through a track-by-track, and by my count, more than 50% was whack, and he came out with a 4. I’ve been on the fence about even listening to this and now, I really don’t want to.

    • Andrew Almond

      It’s worth listening to for sure imo. There are enough good moments to justify its existence, but it does leave a lot to be desired.

  • Riski (Paris)

    that shit I ust read felt better than TLOP to me. Really talented.

  • MHFC

    Most of this is right on point for content. Was thankful to see the writer call out some of the good qualities and those egregious flaws.

    The writer’s shtick is much less organic and amusing than it used to be. Also put off by the “afronazi” term. Definitely doesn’t seem like something a black person would write.

    • Eddie STATS

      I mean, the LP in question had a track called “Black Skinhead” and also Confederate Flags on the tour jackets. ‘afronazi eurotronic arthop’ seems like a pretty apt description of the type of button and boundary pushing ‘Ye was going for on ‘Yeezus’. If he had simply shouted out #BLM or the Black Panthers and somebody said that made him an ‘afronazi extremist’ that would be very different. But can’t imagine Kanye would blink at it, given the aesthetic he was workin with?

    • MHFC

      I missed the track where he advocated for racial oppression and genocide.

  • thepopculturist

    Thanks for the recap. BTW I love reading your reviews and I hope you continue doing them.

    I took a few cursory listens of this album and I’m not a fan. Doesn’t feel cohesive at all. More like a mix tape. There are a few decent tracks so agree, its not a total throwaway but definitely not heavy rotation material.

  • Shawn

    Not gonna lie this album was the most incredible album my ears have ever heard. it was amazing in every way imaginable you cant just roast it because thats your job you bitch and do the lyrics even matter that much?!?! some of it was weak but it had kid cudi AND frank ocean. I would give this fire 6 slaps. Yall niggas have to stop acting all tough like “this album was some pussy shit, tay tay is queen.” fuck yall

    • Doug M

      “…most incredible album my ears have ever heard” but you admit “some of it was weak” and you ask “do lyrics even matter?”.

      You a expert at bodying ya’self. Congrats, we now have zero respect for your opinion on music.

    • Shawn

      first of all nigga every album has its flaws so stop being such a pussy bitch, Ok? Second dont talk to me about zero respect for my opinion on music. You here commenting on an article about an album that you thought was bad. You such a fuck

    • Tom McLaren

      Actually, not every album has flaws. Some are fucking perfect. But you already told us you haven’t listened to many, so you wouldn’t know about that.

    • ||ParasDutta||

      Could you name some Please??

    • Tom McLaren

      Miles Davis – Kind of Blue
      The Beach Boys – Pet Sounds
      Marvin Gaye – What’s Going On?
      D’Angelo – Voodoo
      Public Enemy – Fear of a Black Planet
      Bob Marley – Catch A Fire
      James Brown – Live At The Apollo
      OutKast – Aquemini

      All IMO of course, but you know… there’s plenty out there I’d describe as flawless.

    • Jay Jones

      Smh you talking to children bruh……they won’t know anything about any of those classic joints.

    • Godzilla Jr.

      Game. Set. Match.

  • SATAN’S ALIENS

    Name 1 thing Ghostface has done in the last ten years besides get clowned by the pharmabro.

    • One

      What does this have to do with ghostface?!

    • Stephen A Smith

      Drop 7 dope albums?

    • SATAN’S ALIENS

      oh yeah? how’d those do?

    • Stephen A Smith

      Fishscale (2006)
      More Fish (2006)
      The Big Doe Rehab (2007)
      Ghostdini: Wizard of Poetry in Emerald City (2009)
      Apollo Kids (2010)
      Twelve Reasons to Die (2013)
      36 Seasons (2014)
      Twelve Reasons to Die II (2015)

      All received critical acclaim. Not sure what else you need.

    • Tom McLaren

      Don’t forget Sour Soul. Waaaay better than that blemish on his otherwise immaculate discography that is Wizard of Poetry

    • Stephen A Smith

      True dat. Good call.

  • kingjaffijo

    that did not sound like a big ghost review… impostor?

  • Juggernuts

    I lost my shit after reading Big Ghost’s take on track 2 and I have yet to recover. Thank you for the biggest belly laugh I’ve had all fucking week.

  • Stephen A Smith

    Not surprising that the best song, which is one of roughly 4 palatable cuts, was submitted for MBDTF. The few good songs actually sound out of place when surrounded with the rest of that BS. 2/5.

  • Shawn

    and big ghost you know you loved the album or else why would you give it 4 slaps? u just doing what they pay you to do.

  • kingdarius

    im only on the “famous” track right now and its not a damn 4/5 album unless it picks up immensely i dont see how he gave it that rating

  • Andrew Mcallister

    Everyone is so scared of a kanye backlash that no one calls him out on how mediocre at best this album is. it sounds like all b side tracks and not good ones either.

  • Chidi Sam Nnamani

    The Weeknd was dope on FML, only part of this fuckshit I dig.