Spank Rock unleashed YoYoYoYoYo on the world way back in 2006. It was fun, funny and funky as hell, winning them a tour mate in M.I.A., some pretty serious media attention, and a fan in Thom Yorke. But in this age of social media attention spans and countless disposable, blogosphere darlings, 5 years is a long, long time. Today, M.I.A. is, well…m.i.a., Radiohead’s latest was basically a dud, and LMFAO (or, as I like to call them, GTFOH) have already taken the Spank Rock sound to the pop charts. Things done changed, folks. And Spank Rock’s new one, lovingly titled Everything is Boring and Everyone is a Fucking Liar, just can’t make the grade. There are certainly some fun moments, but it’s all just kind of unremarkable. And boring, too.

To say that some of the lyrics and themes on Spank Rock’s latest are a bit uninspired would be an understatement. The beats are hot to some degree; electro-tinged and wholly danceable, regularly veering off into fairly unexpected directions. And songs like “Birfday” and “Hot Potato” would be right at home on any dance floor. But c’mon…they’re called “Birfday” and “Hot Potato.” And they’re about exactly what you’d expect. To make fans wait this long for a set of uninspired, fairly rudimentary exercises in generic party/sex rap is just inexcusable.

The worst song here is called “Race Riot.” Over a cookie-cutter beat, Spank Rock spends 3 whole minutes playing off that John Mayer, “my cock is like David Duke“ controversy from almost 2 years ago, asking girls of different races to “shake it ‘til my dick turns racist.” Terrible idea, right?

Well Everything is Boring and Everyone is a Fucking Liar is chockfull of terrible ideas like that one.

You know how it feels when you wake up after an embarrassingly drunken night at a club? You’re pretty sure you danced, but you can’t remember what you danced to, or with whom you danced? And you feel like shit?

That’s the aftertaste of Spank Rock’s new album. You gave it a listen, and it sounded like a good time. But deep down you know you didn’t actually have one.

Avoid this.

-Dallas Donnell

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