Grand Buffet

Fire Years of Fireworks
(Fighting Records : 2005)

 

Musical comedy is a tough thing to tackle. And even when the most successful of people score some laughs or validly poke fun, repeated listens are usually not necessary. Sometimes humor requires no satirical observation; the comedy can come from outrageous places and make absolutely no sense whatsoever. This form of absurdity is especially difficult to pull off.

I can’t think of much worse than two privileged white kids, drunk on their own sense of elitism, making purposely bad hip-hop records. If Grand Buffet isn’t a joke, then it’s truly a sad musical climate we are currently experiencing. Assuming (for their sake) that this whole terrible experience of an album and accompanying DVD (which is just as frightening as you could imagine) are, in fact, a joke, it’s hard to gather what these guys are trying to accomplish, not to mention mock.

This is neither entertaining nor funny.

Way too loud analogue synthesizers and overtly boom-bap drums make up the majority of the album’s production. Again, whether it was done this way on purpose or not is a mystery, but the bulk of the album’s backing beats are monotonous. Listening to more than three or four tracks in one sitting is less of a choice and more of a chore.

Amidst jokes idolizing Phil Collins, Yes and other dubious prog-rock (yes, prog-rock) icons, you get vocals that are mixed far too low to understand. And even when you do, it isn’t much:

“Kick it off, I shall. I will make no complaints. I know my latex face paints from latter day saints in a place packed with old-fashioned dungeon masters, ready to slay the dragon action. That’s cool, I support the cause and its sponsors but I’m harsh with the mazes and monsters and I play with pride. I get lint removed each time my character dies so rise to the occasion with me. I’m beside myself with happiness and happen to be occupied by small concerns and my future’s so bright, I got third degree burns.” (From “1000 Percent”)

It only gets worse from there, especially on the pseudo-right-wing extremist “Americus”, when the supposed joke oversteps its bounds into a completely baseless, unexplainable political and social satire (again, I’m unsure if satire is the right word here).

Whatever intentions Grand Buffet has, this album simply made me mad and never once made me laugh. Maybe if the actual music had more thought put into it and some actual care was taken in the creative process, it would’ve been a different story. But, then again, maybe the point is to be utterly atrocious and this sort of snobby post-modern humor/art is just way over my head.

Pretentious and absolutely pointless, Grand Buffet is a five-minute joke that’s been dragged out for way too long.