If life had a color code, it would be an emergency omega level red right about now.
The unfathomable has been made real, as reality TV star + real estate mogul, Donald J. Trump, is the 45th President of the United States. Since entering the White Office, Trump has already begun dismantling the moves made by the previous administration + affecting all our lives in the U.S. and abroad.
Despite being called out on numerous lies between himself, his press secretary Sean Spicer + his counselor Kellyanne Conway — Trump continues to ostracize the U.S. against Muslims, immigrants and those concerned about climate change.
With that said, in seven days Trump has already done more damage than anyone ever in American history — and that’s yuge! We’ve decided to chronicle all the crazy, shit-tastic things he’s done since becoming Cheeto-In-Chief in a daily series called Drumpf Digest. So, without any further ado, here are just a lot of funked-up things Mr. Trump (#NotMyPresident) has done since he was sworn in on Jan. 20.
Friday, March 24
* Trumpcare is dead in the water. A vote was initially scheduled to take place today, but was cancelled after the contentious piece overhaul failed to garner support from either party. Of course, president-not-elect blames the Dems. Go fucking figure.
* Donald Trump has the House Intelligence Committee in a frenzy, as the branch is trying to fight over what to do with what they’ve learned about Trump’s ties to Russia.
Thursday, March 23
* Adam Schiff, the top Democrat on the House Intelligence Committee, says that there is more than enough circumstantial evidence that Trump and his cronies colluded with Russia to investigate.
* Our own FBI has information indicating that Trump and his campaign coordinated efforts with Russian hackers.
* Women are abused at a high rate in this country already, but immigrant women are not even filing domestic abuse charges for fear of being deported by ICE. Thanks President Agent Orange.
* The controversial Keystone XL Pipeline has been authorized by Trump and the State Department, reversing Obama’s decision and threatening our environment.
Wednesday, March 22
* The Republicans need 216 votes to pass Donald Trump‘s horrific healthcare bill in the House. Thankfully, they did not have enough to do such a thing.
* Trump’s ex-campaign chairman Paul Manafort not-so-secretly worked for Russian billionaire to “benefit Putin government,” for $10 million a year.
Tuesday, March 21
* Donald Trump started off his Tuesday threatening his own party to pass his wreck of a healthcare bill… or else. Some negotiator, am I right?
* Anybody can just get access to classified information in the Trump administration. Daughter (only first we acknowledge are the Obamas and Chelsea Clinton) Ivanka Trump has been given her own office in the West Wing even though technically she’s not a government employee.
* The White House (and by extension Trump) are distancing themselves from two “liabilities” in the forms of Michael Flynn and Paul Manafort. According to White House Sean Spicer, Flynn, Trump’s former NSA adviser, was a “volunteer” of the campaign, while Manafort, who ran Trump’s campaign for months, “played a very limited role for a very limited amount of time.” The age of spin…
* Donald Trump, speaking at a rally in San Francisco, had time to diss Colin Kaepernick. The still signed QB for the 49ers is a free agent and seemingly won’t be picked up by another team because they’re “scared of a nasty tweet from The Donald”. Give me a fucking break.
Monday, March 20
* The confirmation of Neil Gorsuch, Donald Trump’s Supreme Court pick, began on this day. The goal is to have him in place before Easter recess.
* FBI Director James Comey also testified in front of the House Intelligence Committee. We have a recap of what he said that will blow your mind.
* Did you know that the annual cost of Trump’s family and travel expenses exceed defunded programs such as PBS and Meals on Wheels?
* Nancy Pelosi has been warning Trump supporters just how much they have to lose if they continue to ride for this human trash bag.
* In a bit of good news, Ted Cruz, an equally off individual, said he won’t vote on Trumpcare as it stands. Spread the word, Lyin’ Ted!
Saturday, March 18
* Donald Trump sure is one petty muthasucka, geez. Eyewitness reports claim the president kicked the international boy group, One Direction, out of one of his hotels after they did not meet his daughter.
* Trump’s healthcare plan is already a crock of basura, but his goal of eliminating universal maternity coverage would put a high price on being a woman.
* Trump’s budget has already begun to scare Americans. Now, he is wanting to reduce funding for ‘Meals on Wheels,’ which is upsetting his supporters.
Friday, March 17
* Republicans are now urging the president to apologize to former President Barack Obama for accusing him of wiretapping that never happened.
* Donald Trump met with German Chancellor Angela Merkel at the White House where the press asked him if there were any tweets he regretted, and was served vicious side-eye when making a half-baked joke about being wiretapped by Obama.
* Speaking of wiretaps, the Republican government apologized to Britain for accusing them of “helping Obama spy on Trump,” but Trump chose to pass the buck when it came time to address Barack specifically.
Thursday, March 16
* Meals on Wheels, the life saving organization that helps feed seniors and the homeless, is going to have its budget cut because the “ROI isn’t there,” according to Trump’s GOP party.
* Did you know that former National Security Adviser Michael Flynn was paid by several Russian companies before becoming an adviser to Donald Trump? Betcha money that Trump knew.
* Trump finally released his budget list and some of the things he wants to cut (PBS) are stupid and asinine.
* As stated by millions of people around the world, the GOP is just finding out, courtesy of the House Intelligence Committee, that there is no evidence to support Obama “wiretapping” Trump Towers.
* That hasn’t stopped White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer from doubling down on ignorant rhetoric, though. He believes, like the president does, that Obama did have his wiretapped and went through the British spy community to do so.
* To celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, Donald Trump shared a well-known Irish proverb with his adorning audience, written by a Nigerian poet. Trump is such a buffoon.
Wednesday, March 15
* The Ls keep coming for one Donald Trump. Earlier today, Judge Derrick Watson, a federal judge in Hawai, put a hold on the Trump administration’s revised Muslim travel ban.
* Trump also spoke out on the other L he experienced this week, the release of his 2005 tax reports. He said that the act was “illegal” and a “disgrace”. He must not know what’s coming next?
* Top members of the House Intelligence Committee believe that there was no actual evidence to explain why Trump accused Obama of wiretapping. “Clearly the president was wrong,” they told the press. Now, will he apologize is the question?
* Seems Trump is serious about going through with this wall thing, as he has begun to send eminent domain like letters to Texas residents. Here’s the kicker, there’s no word on what to do if you don’t want to sell your land.
* For David Cay Johnston, Americans have him to thank for the 2005 tax reveal. According to Trump, the Pulitzer Prize winning investigative journalist is a part of the “fake news” crew.
* This Russia x United States thing gets more and more loopy by the minute. Remember Monica Crowley, Trump’s plagiarizing pick for Deputy NSA? Well, she has gone and registered to lobby for a Russian ally.
Tuesday, March 14
* While Twitter was going crazy about Trump’s taxes, another interesting story broke. CNN is reporting that tomorrow FBI director James Comey will inform Rhode Island senator Sheldon Whitehouse if the FBI will investigate ties between Russia and Donald Trump‘s campaign.
* The DOJ extended the deadline for the Trump Administration to come up with certifiable evidence of their wiretapping claims. They have until March 20 to comply with the request.
* Secretary of State Vladimir, er, I mean Rex Tillerson has been discovered to use an alias in his dealings with his former company, Exxon Mobil. What is his super spy code name, you ask? Wayne Tracker. How corny, right?!
* According to Trump’s fave representative, Steve King, us blacks and Hispanics will “be fighting each other” before taking over the population.
* Breitbart, the place where the president gets his news from, has released an audio of Speaker of the House Paul Ryan saying he would not defend Trump from scrutiny. My, my, my how opinions change once you get a taste of some power.
Monday, March 13
* Donald Trump has announced that his new Trumpcare health insurance will be going “down, down, down” if Congress passes the bill. We say that he’s smoking dust if he expects us to believe that.
* An Indian-American woman cornered White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer at an Apple Store, and the results were just as you could imagine.
* Preet Bahara just can’t escape the news, as people are investigating the reason why the U.S. Attorney of New York was fired. It seems that someone was upset that Mr. Bahara was investigating FOX News for spying on journalists.
* If Trumpcare becomes a law, projections list that 14 million Americans who have gained coverage in recent years through the Affordable Care Act could lose it in 2018, which is downright despicable.
* Eight years later in 2026 that number could jump up from 14 million to 24 million. We got to do better, America.
Sunday, March 12
* Democrats are upset and criticizing Donald Trump for his firing of Preet Bahara, the U.S. Attorney in New York, and with great reason. They were caught off guard.
* Sen. Rand Paul is getting buck about his dislike of the GOP’s repeal-and-replace version of Trumpcare. He says that congressional conservatives are not going to vote for it.
* Uh-oh, seems like an aide for Vladimir Putin is not happy with how Donald Trump has handled their relationship. According to them, aside from high hopes + there has been “no progress” yet.
* The intelligence community is now demanding that Trump come up off of any evidence that he has that Obama supposedly wire-tapped him. And they don’t want it some time from now… they wanted it two weeks ago.
Saturday, March 11
* Here’s a look back at the first 50 days of Donald Trump‘s tenure as President of the United States.
Introducing… The First 50 Days of President Donald J Trump pic.twitter.com/4iGqLo8pHF
— JOE.co.uk (@JOE_co_uk) March 11, 2017
* Preet Bahara, the U.S. Attorney in New York, has been fired by the Trump administration for his battling against corruption and white-collar crime.
* Donald Trump’s revised travel ban goes into effect this Thursday, March 16, and continues to face challenges from the Democratic party and lovers of free human rights.
* Congress demands that Donald Trump also stop deleting his tweets. Will he listen… probably not.
Friday, March 10
* Could the GOP be asking Americans to prove they’re human? No, but they are possibly enabling employers to demand worker’s genetic test results
* President Donald Trump and his flying monkey, er, we mean White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer have committed another error. The duo of dumbness retweeted The Drudge Report‘s tweet 11 minutes after the numbers were made public, a violation of the Dept. of Labor.
* Speaking of that Dept. of Labor report, before you go patting Drumpf on the back for the increase of employment in the country, just know that it was Obama who did it — not this potato sack of mush.
Thursday, March 9
* While were all celebrating the life + legacy of The Notorious B.I.G., a D.C. couple was suing President Agent Orange for unfair competition. You can just hear Trump’s lawyers gearing up to bury this case.
* Republicans under Donald Trump‘s banner of repealing Obamacare have cleared a path to limit Medicare funding, which millions of us (including yours truly) needs to survive.
* FBI Director James Comey went to Congress to update them on Donald Trump’s wiretapping charges.
* According to White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer, he’s “unaware” of any investigation by the DOJ of the president. A: He is.
* Secretary of State (and noted Russian supporter) Rex Tillerson has recused himself from the TransCanada application for a permit for a Keystone XL pipeline.
* The wall returns again, as a Wisconsin Democrat has introduced legislation that will ensure that Americans do not foot the bill for this horrible and unimaginative idea.
Wednesday, March 8
* After the GOP released its plans to repeal Obamacare for Trumpcare (trust us, we hope it doesn’t stick) — the response from the Democrats was swift and furious.
* The AARP has refused to acknowledge the plan, and so has most Americans.
* A majority of Americans also believe that Attorney General Jeff Sessions should resign from his post immediately. We also agree.
* Now, seemingly in an effort to walk back comments the president made accusing Obama of illegal wiretapping, the top Republican on the House intelligence committee believes that the press is taking Trumps tweets to literally.
* Hawaii is also planning to challenge Trump’s travel ban, and hat’s off to them for doing so.
Tuesday, March 7
* Nancy Pelosi blasts the GOP over its plans to repeal Obamacare and she’s right… plan sucks and is wholly for the rich.
* New York’s Public Housing will experience major reductions as federal aid for the program will be minus $35 million.
* The president has been caught in another lie as he slandered Barack Obama again, saying that the 44th Commander-in-Chief has released hundreds of terrorists who went back to fight on the front lines.
* White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer has met with the media again, but made sure that they did not have their cameras on to share the news with the public.
* Q: Is Donald Trump trying to play black Americans like Jeff to the Left? A: Yes.
* The first public hearing on Russia’s meddling in America’s affairs will begin on Mar. 20, and yes, we’re hoping that Trump is called in as a character witness.
Monday, March 6
* Donald Trump started off the new week by signing another executive order for his vaunted #TravelBan. This time it excludes Iraq, makes green card and visa holders exempt and still finds a way to look religious-ly racist AF.
* The Republicans also release their plans for the repealing of Obamacare, which looks like a big middle finger to the people who really could use the health insurance while lining the pockets of the rich.
* Republican Senators are asking the president to produce evidence for his claims that former President Barack Obama wire tapped his Trump Tower. That’s like asking for proof that Santa Claus exists, y’all.
* A new article by the New Republic goes into how Trump has been angered by his intelligence community and has secretly gone to war with the FBI.
* Trump also plans to maintain the funding for Planned Parenthood (which the GOP elsewhere is trying to get the fuck outta here) only if the organization halts abortions. How can one man have all this power and be so ignorant?
* It’s no secret that Trump is a blowhard, but what’s really fucked up is that the 45th president has no problem taking credit for the things that Obama was responsible for creating.
Sunday, March 5
* After Donald Trump‘s explosive accusation towards the Obama Administration, the White House is now paying a price for “lack of discipline,” according to former CIA Director Leon Panetta.
* Doubling down on his accusations, Trump is asking Congress to investigate the 44th president on the charges of wiretapping at Trump Towers. This guy is a distraction master, eh?
* Secretary of HHS, Tom Price, has reiterated the Trump Administration’s stance on Medicare for seniors by saying that the health insurance should be guaranteed for our nation’s elderly.
Saturday, March 4
* As if you already hadn’t heard, Donald Trump has gone on record accusing former President Barack Obama of wiretapping his Trump Tower. Now, what he won’t do is slander the guy who put him in a position to drop the national debt by billions.
* VP Mike Pence was infuriated by the press who published his wife’s email address without permission. This guy can’t keep a leak from springing no matter what.
Friday, March 3
* Remember Rex Tillerson? I know, haven’t seen much of him lately. The Secretary of State has been ducking fire from Sen. Marco Rubio and human rights groups for not personally unveiling the State Department’s annual Human Rights Report, which was expected on this day.
* Could we ever seen campaigner, politico Kellyanne Conway as an elected official? According to her, the choice to enter politics doesn’t require just fire in the belly, but “bile in your throat.” Bile? She’s truly a disgusting human being.
* Somebody take his phone away, please. Donald Trump lashed out at his “enemies” Sen. Chuck Schumer and other Democrats over their treatment of Attorney General Jeff Sessions.
* Trump has ordered for the bombing of Yemen, but has no intelligence to confirm if we’re actually doing anything worthwhile. Sounds like this guy’s whole life has been full of head rushes and bad decisions.
* Trump still can’t plug those leaks, as new details for the GOP Obamacare replacement made its way to the public. The latest plans include a tax credit that’s being panned as a “new entitlement.”
* As we await his immigration ban, information has now come out how Trump plans to separate families who arrive at the Mexico-United States border. What a dirt bag!
Thursday, March 2
* Following up on the news that Attorney General Jeff Session was caught contacting Russian officials. Now, he has recused himself from investigations involving the Trump Administration in attempt to separate from the scandal.
* Speaking of Sessions, it seems that Donald Trump “still has confidence” in the controversial Attorney General. Maybe he didn’t see the news lately.
* Donald Trump visited the USS Gerald R. Ford carrier — which is the most expensive ship ever built — and has prompted the president to claim that with it we will start winning wars again.
* Ben Carson and Rick Perry, two GOP rivals of Trump, have been indoctrinated into the fold as they both were confirmed for HUD and Energy Secretary, respectively.
* Trump’s plans for a border wall are said to cause hundreds of millions of dollars, but it seems that the DHS has only identified $20 million for usage.
Wednesday, March 1
* The big news of the day is that Attorney General Jeff Sessions (who nobody wanted anyway) has been caught lying about his ties to Russian contacts. He is still not admitting any wrongdoing, but he is now being thoroughly investigated.
* The White House has to keep in tact emails and other materials that could be connected to the ongoing probes into its relations with Russia.
* Reeking of reality TV vibes and a swift dodge to capitalize on the emotion of a moment, Donald Trump‘s address to Congress was considered favorable by the American public.