If life had a color code, it would be an emergency omega level red right about now.
The unfathomable has been made real, as reality TV star + real estate mogul, Donald J. Trump, is the 45th President of the United States. Since entering the White Office, Trump has already begun dismantling the moves made by the previous administration + affecting all our lives in the U.S. and abroad.
Despite being called out on numerous lies between himself, his press secretary Sean Spicer + his counselor Kellyanne Conway — Trump continues to ostracize the U.S. against Muslims, immigrants and those concerned about climate change.
With that said, in seven days Trump has already done more damage than anyone ever in American history — and that’s yuge! We’ve decided to chronicle all the crazy, shit-tastic things he’s done since becoming Cheeto-In-Chief in a daily series called Drumpf Digest. So, without any further ado, here are just a lot of funked-up things Mr. Trump (#NotMyPresident) has done since he was sworn in on Jan. 20.
Wednesday, February 22
* A month after Donald Trump‘s initial travel ban, the courts shut that shit down fast. Now, he’s trying it again, yet is having problems getting the reworked bill off the starting blocks.
* He’s gone after women, minorities, immigrants, and now Trump is rescinding the rights + protections of transgender people.
* One of the first things Donald Trump did was to freeze hiring across the board. That move has caused two Army bases with child-care programs to shut down.
* Where has Kellyanne Conway been during all of this? It seems that she has not faired well in her latest TV appearances, and has been asked to go back in to her witch’s broom closet.
* In a move of heartless aggression, Trump’s ICE has removed a young detainee who is diagnosed with a brain tumor from the hospital.
Tuesday, February 21
* Donald Trump announced his first budget plan, which would end a program that would enable low-income Americans to receive legal aid.
* After Trump’s Swedish gaffe where he cited FOX News as his source, it seems that he is lending credence to the out-there, craziness of Alex Jones, adding to another element of our national journey into the sincerely absurd.
* Edward Price, a 10-year-plus veteran of the CIA, resigned from the CIA because of Donald Trump.
* In a bid to squelch anti-Semitism claims, Trump vows to fight against the “bigotry, hatred and threats” being lobbied against Jewish centers.
* Trump also found time to go to the NMAAHC, better known as the Black-sonian Museum, and they couldn’t scrub the building fast enough.
* Meanwhile, Sean Spicer said that the Anne Frank Center should “praise” Trump’s leadership. Gag us and throw us in the water, please.
* To end the night in a positive note, Representative Maxine Waters has called out the “scumbags” in the GOP in a major way.
Monday, February 20
* Happy Belated #NotMyPresidents Day, America. Hundreds of thousands of people took to the streets around the country to protest Donald Trump‘s presidency.
* Trump is also working with the Department of Homeland Security to enact sweeping new immigration guidelines.
* Trump also finally named his new National Security Adviser amidst plenty of scandal and missteps. Lt. Gen. H.R. McMaster was named as the head of the NSA, which was actually applauded by both sides of the aisle.
Sunday, February 19
* According to White House spokesman Sean Spicer, Donald Trump plans to interview retired Lt. Gen. Keith Kellogg for his still open National Security Adviser position.
* Trump also is still going through his plans to dismantle the Affordable Care Act by meeting with his newly confirmed OMB Director Mick Mulvaney, his HHS Secretary Tom Price and senior staff.
* Defense Secretary James Mattis disagreed with his boss’s claims that the press is “the enemy of the American people.”
* In other “presidential apprentice” news, Craig Deare, who Trump appointed to head the NSC’s Western Hemisphere division, was fired due to his criticism of President Agent Orange and his inner circle of advisers.
* Reince Priebus said that Americans and the media should “take Trump seriously” when he says that the latter is an “enemy of the American people”.
* The Swedes are still scratching their heads after Trump made an inaccurate comment about rising crime in their lands. “Sweden? Terror attack? What has he been smoking? Questions abound.”
Saturday, February 18
* Gen. David Patreus, long considered a frontrunner to take over the NSA, has withdrew his name from the opportunity. Sources say he knows that the Trump Administration is a shit show, and wants no parts of it.
* Philip Bilden is also said to be withdrawing his name as Trump’s Navy Secretary nominee.
Friday, February 17
* Drumpf was mad at Mike Pompeo, his CIA Director, for not pushing back harder against claims that the intelligence community was withholding information from the president.
Thursday, February 16
* Just when you thought it was over, it seems Donald Trump can’t shake the Russian controversy. Their government was “in touch” with the then-president-elect during the election campaign.
* Deutsche Bank is also investigating to see if the Trump family has money tied into Russia.
* Vice Admiral Robert Harward refused to take over the position vacated by former National Security Adviser Michael Flynn.
* During Trump’s impromptu press conference, he told the reporter who Omarosa threatened to set up a meeting with him and the Congressional Black Caucus, who he never heard of.
* At that same conference, he claimed to have the “largest electoral college win ever” and the press chin-checked him royally.
* Trump also intended to reinstate his travel ban on the world, which should piss all of us.
* He ducked a question about ignoring the Jewish holocaust, claiming that the person asking it (a Jewish reporter) was “not fair”.
* “[The White House] is running like a fine tuned machine,” Drumpf said when asked about the leaks, controversies and straight fuck-ups that are happening less than a month in.
* Speaking of those leaks, Trump also threatened to “catch Washington’s low-life leakers,” which means that he is going to turn the other way as Putin and co. do their thing.
Wednesday, February 15
* The biggest news following the Michael Flynn x Russia scandal was that Trump’s Labor Secretary pick, Carl’s Jr. CEO Andy Puzder, withdrew his name from the Cabinet nomination. Wonder what he has to hide?
* An adviser to three, yes three, GOP presidents has come out to dispute Donald Trump‘s motivations for working with Russia.
* The intelligence community is no longer sharing information with the president because of leaks within the administration making it hard for them to trust Trump. Go figure!
* After tipping off Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu to begin building settlements in East Jerusalem and the West Bank — Trump has asked Netanyahu to hold off on further construction. Guess he needs to ask Steve Bannon‘s permission?
Tuesday, February 14
* Love was in the air as Michael Flynn resigned as National Security Adviser after being caught lying about conversations with Russia.
* Despite the travel ban being ruled unconstitutional, people are still following Drumpf’s Law, as two Canadian citizens were denied entry into the U.S. for being Muslim.
* The Flynn situation, albeit a slow bleed situation, didn’t stop Donald Trump from meeting with Gov. Chris Christie for a romantic dinner for two + something we’ll soon find out.
* Trump’s aide, Omarosa Manigault, “physically intimidated” a reporter after getting into an argument in the West Wing of the White House.
Monday, February 13
* Donald Chump‘s choice for Labor Secretary, Andrew Pudzer, is creating agitation amongst the populace as a new fast food legislation is hotly contested.
* In you-can’t-believe-that-happened news, a Mar-a-Lago members who pays Trump hundreds of thousands of dollars was seen taking a picture with the guy responsible for holding the nuclear codes.
* Could we be heading to war with China? The brewing conflict in the South China Sea could very well become our 21st century Cuban Missle Crisis.
* In an effort to not embarrass the country any further, the UK is delaying President Agent Orange’s visit until Parliament is in recess.
* This photo of Trump and Justin Trudeau pretty much sums up what Americans think about the current president-and-thief.
* Remember that whole thing about the president divesting from his businesses? Yeah, no one cares about that as Trump is selling access to his “Winter White House” for $200k a pop.
* A new report states that Michael Flynn, one of Trump’s national security advisers, is open to the possible threat of being blackmailed by Russia.
Sunday, February 12
* Trump’s senior policy adviser, Stephen Miller, took to the politico shows to advocate the Cheetos-In-Chief’s aims to present a “show of strength” to North Korea.
* Chuck Schumer sends shots to Trump to tell him to throw his travel ban ideas in the trash.
Saturday, February 11
* Donald Trump has launched the first (of what may be many) large-scale ICE raids in an attempt to crack down on illegal immigration in the country.
* Drumpf has also begun weighing in on the Israel embassy debate, saying, “I am thinking about the embassy, I am studying the embassy [issue], and we will see what happens.” This could make peace-talk relations with Palestine dissolve in America agrees to Israel’s terms.
* A new Gallup poll states that Americans view the country as having a world standing that’s “worst in a decade” + that leaders respect Trump less than Barack Obama when he began his first term.
Friday, February 10
* Before heading into the weekend, Donald Drumpf indicated that he might sign a brand-new travel ban rather than waiting for the courts to deal with his first one.
* Criticizing the ruling against his travel ban, Trump sent shots through his Twitter timeline indicating that the decision was a “disgraceful decision” and quoted a Lawfare blog article in an attempt to prove his point.
* A 35-page dossier compiled by a former British spy was dismissed by the Cheeto-in-Chief, yet now sources are saying that there may be some truth to the allegations.
Thursday, February 9
* We’re not even halfway through the second month of Donald Trump‘s presidency + already impeachment papers have been filed.
* Not so much a foible for the Cheesehead-in-Chief, as much as it was a success for the People — the federal appeals court upheld the ruling effectively ending Trump’s travel ban on refugees and all visitors from seven predominantly Muslim states.
* The ending of the travel ban might’ve angered Drumpf, but he seems to have a plan to continue his brand of domestic terrorism: empower the police to do more harm to its black-and-brown citizens by signing an executive order giving them more authority.
* Usually Trump is quick to respond to a “hater” or a “loser,” but he’s been slow to respond to his Supreme Court pick’s blast for “demoralizing judges”. Has Trump met his match with Neil Gorsuch?
* Trump and phones don’t seem to work well, as he needed an aid to explain to him the START treaty during a call with his homeboy, Vladimir Putin.
* In a bit of good news for the prez, bad news for us — Tom Price seems that he will be confirmed for Secretary of Health, so he can begin to repeal Obamacare with no back-up plan in place.
* Donald Trump, a man who has never served in the military or Vietnam, attempted to defend his first military mission by tangling with fellow Republican John McCain, a decorated veteran and former POW.
Wednesday, February 8
* As president, you’re tasked with delegating with other leaders from around the world. But in Donald Trump‘s case, he is not fond of talking to everyone. Three weeks into being in office, Drumpf has yet to contact his counterpart in Beijing, which is prompting questions.
* Fears of America becoming a Communist nation are stoked after Trump seeks a “grand bargain” with Russia’s Vladimir Putin.
* Tweeting his frustration that Nordstrom would no longer stock his daughter’s clothing line, stocks for the company have since risen after being slammed.
* According to Drumpf’s media organization, Breitbart, he has begun designs on the proposed border wall, which will separate the southwestern part of the country from Mexico.
* Remember Hillary Clinton‘s 3 a.m. phone call commercial? Seems that Drumpf reportedly did as such to ask a reasonable economics question—but who he called reported has people scratching their heads.
* Under Armour, an athletic company that makes billions of dollars, has a CEO (Kevin Plank) that supports Trump, calling him a “real asset”. Its main superstar, Stephen Curry, believes that you should remove the “e-t” from that and that is what you have in a president. Actor Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and ballerina Misty Copeland have also spoken up as critics against Plank’s praises of Trump.
* During a press conference, Trump took judges to task for not supporting his travel ban and increased the pressure on them to cave.
Tuesday, February 7
* Donald Drumpf, who is, like, very smart, is scaring off the brilliant scientist minds because in truth, he is clueless as hell about climate change.
* The Donald’s pick for Secretary of Education, despite Americans’ objections, has been confirmed as Betsy DeVos and people are in an uproar.
* In his attempt to “clean up” the streets of Chicago, Drumpf falsely claims that the U.S. murder rate is the highest its ever been in 47 years.
* The army, with an assist from the Cheesehead-in-Chief, have green lit the easement for the Dakota Access Pipeline, a project we’ve vehemently been against.
* Trump’s “education task force” is planning on chipping away at the rules for campus sexual assault.
* Not sure if this is good news or bad, but Donald is seemingly unhappy with the job Sean Spicer is doing. Maybe he saw Melissa McCarthy‘s impression of him on Saturday Night Live?
Monday, February 6
* In an early morning Twitter rant, Donald Drumpf said that CNN, NBC + ABC (basically everyone except FOX) were “fake news” because of negative polls.
* Drumpf has also angered the tech community so much that almost 100 firms (see: Google, Apple) within the community have teamed up to file an amicus brief against the Cheesepuff-in-Chief
* In a bit of good, albeit odd, news — Kanye West has deleted all his pro-Drumpf tweets and seemingly returned to his senses.
* Drumpf and his administration are pushing us to the brink of World War III, as it is being reported that they are “recklessly escalating” tensions with Iran.
* The Cheesehead-in-Chief also spoke to the public, naming tragedies in Boston, Orlando and San Bernadino as “reasons for the travel ban,” but message, genius — none of those shootings had shooters from countries under the ban.
* It seems as though Trump’s early supporter Kanye West has had enough of his antics. According to reports and Twitter receipts, Mr. West has deleted all signs of his support of Drumpf from his Twitter page and has instead turned his Twitter fingers’ attention to things of more cultural importance…like promoting Big Sean’s release of ‘I Decided’.
Saturday, February 4
* The Apprentice is certainly in the White House, as Drumpf has instructed Omarosa to write an executive order to do something to HBCUs.
* If you love your dog, parakeet or cat then hold them tight, as Drumpf signed an executive order that strips animal rights safeguards.
Friday, February 3
* Drumpf took the day before the weekend to sign another executive action to scale back the 2010 Dodd-Frank financial-overhaul law in a plan to dismantle muhc of the regulatory systems put in place after the 2008 financial crisis.
* With the backing of the White House, Trump and his cohorts also stalled the rules on retirement advisers.
* Trump’s quick-witted advisor, Kellyanne Conway, had Twitter all aflame when she tried to tie the Muslim ban to the massacre in Bowling Green, Kentucky. Only thing was that a massacre never took place.
* The people are still speaking loud, as they not only want Barack Obama back as president, Trump’s poll ratings show that they (see: 40%) also want Drumpf impeached.
Thursday, February 2
* On the second day of Black History Month (yes, BLACK History Month) — Donald Drumpf decided that he’d give his side a win by removing white supremacists from the Terror Watch Program.
* Elliott Abrams was a part of the Reagan Administration + spent his times abetting genocide—now, he is being considered by Drumpf as his cabinet’s deputy secretary of state.
* At the National Prayer Breakfast, an honored tradition for the president, Drumpf decided to not send any prayers to the victims of his first failed mission, no, he instead sent up prayers in the name of Arnold Schwarzenegger in hopes of saving ratings of The Apprentice.
* Trump is really itching to push the button. The Cheesepuff-in-Chief has accused Iran of attacking an American warship, yet his own Pentagon is saying that that never happened.
* Uber CEO Travis Kalanick got caught up in the hype of supporting Trump, until #DeleteUber went viral. He quickly left Donald Trump’s business advisory council.
* To also commemorate what he called “African American History Month,” Drumpf would attempt to speak on black history + get it all the way wrong.
* Before Betsy DeVos was to be confirmed as the Secretary of Education, Trump and his cronies were attempting to roll back Obama’s rule on background checks on gun ownership. Guess he’s trying to make a way for schools to defend themselves from grizzly bears.
Wednesday, February 1
* After getting 30 civilians killed, Trump has ordered his national security adviser to put Iran (who has nuclear capabilities) “on notice” after Iran tested its missile capabilities.
* In Senate Confirmation news, the oil barons of the world are seeming to get cushy jobs in the government, as former Exxon Mobil CEO Rex Tillerson was sworn in as Secretary of State.
* The first day of Black History Month under the Trump Administration started off as expected. The Donald thought that Frederick Douglass was still alive, his VP Mike Pence commemorated when Lincoln freed the slaves + “Racist” Sean Spicer couldn’t explain it all.
* Speaking of Black History Month, new documents were revealed that Drumpf wants leniency for white supremacists to focus more on “radical Islamic terrorism”.
* Trump’s Supreme Court pick, Neil Gorsuch, has had his background check thoroughly by the inters-of-net. From starting a club called “Fascism Forever” to quoting an ominous statement by Henry Kissinger, this guy looks more and more like a Scalia-clone.
* It wouldn’t have been a successful work day for the president if he didn’t cuss out somebody. The lucky recipient was the Australian prime minister, Malcolm Turnbull, who was told by the Suntanned Satan that “this was the worst call by far.” How about that, mate?!